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More Than Coexisting


The marriage relationship has taken some major blows in the past few years and the desire for what we want has overcome the desire for what God wants.  Some have redefined marriage in their thinking, but the definition God has placed on marriage supersedes all those other ideas.  Our worldly thinking has taken a very successful plan for a fulfilled life and distorted it to the point it is unrecognizable.  In our attempt to be super prideful and selfish we have kicked God out of the very thing He established and replaced it with a model that is destined to push God further out of our lives.  We have decided that coexisting is much better than life change due to following God’s Plan.  Not smart!  And I don’t care how many bumper stickers we publish, coexisting is barely getting by. That is why Peter in 1 Peter 3:1-7 reaffirms the model God has given for a wonderful life with God and our spouse.  God has taken two very different types of people and used Himself as the focal point to bring them together in a much stronger union than if they were separate.  Man and Woman were created by God with the same, but different purposes for their existence.  In Genesis 2:7 it tells that God formed man from the ground and breathed life into Him.  Not just breath, but the “breath of life.” His body was formed from the earth, but his breath was from God.  That’s why a person who is committed to serve the Lord says, “I will serve God with every breath.”  Our breath is LIFE from God the Father.  God gives it and God takes it away.  Here’s where some of the value of man has been diminished.  As a society we have taken man’s value and lessened it even more with the worship of animals.  Every time you see someone lift the value of an animal above a human, you need to “wake up” and say, “not gonna happen.”  The more we lift other lesser creations above the one who was made in the image of God, we lift a fist up to God in disgust and disobedience.  God created Man and He called him good!  Now it doesn’t mean we abuse animals, but it does mean we lessen their importance in our thinking when compared to humans.  Then God saw that man needed a helper suitable for him (verse 18) so he decided to create Eve.  In verse 21 and 22 it says, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and close up the flesh at that place.  The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”  At that time the man said, “you are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.”  Does this all make sense to you?  Here’s how it all works with the order of things per God, our creator.  God created man from the ground and breathed into him the breath of life.  He then created other creatures.  He then created woman from the man’s rib that was created by God.  There is no “pecking order” here, but there is God’s order, His PERFECT order.   When we water down God’s order, we sin and lose the perfect idea for it.  To keep God’s perfect order we must submit to God’s leadership in all areas or it will not work like it should.  Man is the leader of his house and if he doesn’t take on that responsibility from God he is sinning and the end result will be less than what God intended.  Woman is to follow man’s leadership and if she doesn’t take on that responsibility, she is sinning and the end result will also be less than what God intended.  Anything less than what God intended in the marriage relationship is just coexisting and anyone can do that even without God.  Of course, you get more divorces, more problem children, more confused sexual orientation, and of course, more sin.  We are trying to fix the problems in our society without keeping the foundations and it just won’t work that way.  It’s God’s order or worldly disorder.  If you believe and try to live God’s Word, you have no other choice.  I served as a youth pastor for over 25 years and the problems in students lives always came back to their parents relationship…..always.  Students were always more receptive to the teachings of the Bible when their parents were living their faith at home.

Somewhere along the line we got to thinking this marriage thing is a privilege when God calls it a glorious responsibility.  In other words, we are married to, first of all honor God, and then to honor our spouse.  Everything else pales in comparison to those two things.  So……when Peter writes in verse 1-6 for wives to submit to your own husbands, do it.  When he says for you to serve with a pure and Godly heart, do it.  When he says for you to adorn yourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit, do it.  You might say, Oh, that’s not fair!”  It not about fairness, it’s about God’s Perfect Plan.  And in verse 7 where it says, “You husbands live with your wives in an understanding way and grant her honor.”  Do it!!  Husbands if you don’t do this command from God then guess what, your prayers are hindered!!!  In other words, your spiritual connection with your wife is failing and you are sinning.  You cannot exist in that condition very long because you have severed part of who you are and that part is found in your wife.  A.K.A. You complete me…

For years Christian couples have felt that it is totally acceptable to just coexist in their marriage relationship.  Not any more!!!  You don’t want to mess this up because it messes up your relationship with God the Father.  I don’t care how many men’s and women’s Bible Studies you attend, you must get this one right.  You don’t want irreconcilable differences with God the Father do you?  

Here’s a formula to get you going.  Be submissive to God and honor His Word in your thinking and your living.  When that happens, your relationship with your spouse will heal and step up in the right direction.  Remember, if your relationship with God is good, then life is good, even when it’s bad.  Don’t just coexist with the Lord in your life and don’t just coexist with your spouse.  The breath of life was breathed into Adam and Eve for a Godly purpose and that applies to us too.  Every breath is given to enable you to be who God intended for you to be.

The Pilgrimage continues…

David Warren

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